Investing Time Into a Relationship. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram. This is part three in our Relationship Building Month. We talked about how to communicate and now we will discuss the most important part of building relationships.
A relationship is built on trust. However, nobody gives trust for free. Everyone builds a wall of protection around themselves. The strength of that wall depends on how many times their trust was broken and how badly it was broken. This is why when you were a kid it was easier to make new friends. One, because you had no real knowledge of trust and also because you didn’t live long enough to get hurt that way.
During the first half of this month, we were teaching the art of communication. To be a great listener and a powerful speaker only opens the door for someone to trust you. To keep that door open and to allow the person to show more of themselves to you, this is where time investment takes place.
Importance of Investing Time
Importance of Investing Time
Every person knows this quote from a certain famous individual, “Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world.” If you know who it is, then share him in the comments. Everyone always uses this for investing with money. The same case goes for investing in relationships. The amount of time you’ve built with the person will allow them to open up more to you.
The moment they open up to you is a sign that they are trusting you. Not only that but how you connect with them will change the matter as well. I always like to think of relationships like growing a plant. You plant the seed on rich soil, give it water and proper sunlight, then watch it grow along the way. So now we will talk about how to invest your time with someone the right way.
How to Invest In a Relationship
Investing means to show your dedication.
1. Investing means to show your dedication to the person.
This should be an obvious one, but not everyone sticks to it. Think of it as your New Year’s Resolution. You only follow it for the first couple of months, then let it go afterward. It shouldn’t be that way when it comes to a relationship.
What you have to realize is that relationship investment is not only a personal matter. Compared to investing in working out or building wealth, investing in a relationship involves someone else’s feelings and emotions. Other people will know when you are not as dedicated to them compared to when you guys first met. Don’t lose heart to the person, especially if you were the first one to initiate the relationship in the first place. You don’t need to dedicate your whole life to the person, but do not belittle them as well.
Investing should have surprises.
2. Investing should have surprises in them.
What makes a relationship deeper? It is a surprise that makes an interesting relationship. Catching the person off guard will make them want to be with you more because you will be remembered as someone who the fun never ends.
Are all surprises good? The answer is no. There are certain surprises that can lead to negative affect in the relationship. So if you’re planning on surprising someone, make sure you really think about what that surprise will be and how it will lead to something positive or negative in the relationship. Awareness is important when it comes to something like this.
Conversations should be a mix.
3. Conversations should be a mix of small and deep talks.
In the last article, we talked about how to give direct messaging, which if you haven’t seen that yet, click here to see it. Direct messaging goes into the category of deep conversations. It’s great to have these conversations, but not every time. The deep conversations should be well mixed in between a good amount of small talk.
It’s funny to know that a lot of people dread small talk. I myself prefer to have deeper conversations over small talk. However, small talk isn’t bad as long as you know what you are doing. The only reason why people hate small talk is that there’s a tendency for it to feel awkward. This may or may not be your fault, but if you want to learn how to small talk, then subscribe to our Lesson Library for more.
Be there when you are needed.
4. Be there when you are needed the most.
This is probably the most crucial part when it comes to investing in a relationship. There will be times when you will be needed for them. This doesn’t happen all the time. It’ll happen every now and then. But these moments are the most memorable moments of their lives.
These moments are usually when they are at their lowest or at their highest. As people, we like to share our hardships and victories with others. If you are really close to the person, then they will most likely want to share those moments with you. So if you miss these memorable moments, they will remember that. It’s like when a child graduates or receives an award, but the parents aren’t there to support them. They will remember that for the rest of their lives.
Something to Remember
Something to Remember
You need to know if you should cut the relationship. I know we’ve been talking about investing in a relationship and now we’re talking about cutting it. Think of this, earlier I was talking about how investing in a relationship is like growing a plant. Yet if you noticed, I didn’t specify what seed you planted. The flower that will blossom can either be beautiful or poisonous.
Most people won’t show their true selves until they are completely comfortable with you. Now does that mean once you do see the bad in them, then you should cut it off? No, of course not. Everyone has something in them that you will not like. You yourself are not even perfect.
The only time you should cut the relationship is when you feel like you are changing for the worst and the relationship is toxic. Of course, if you believe in your relationship and the other person doesn’t want to break it, then both of you should try to fix the relationship. However, if the other person doesn’t care, then it’s best to let them go.
Thank you for joining us today. I hope you have learned the value of investing your time in a relationship. If you want to finally invest your time for someone, then comment on who and why in the comment section below. If you haven’t yet, click here to read an older article on Five Forgotten Truths About Love. This is the BE Mindset and always remember to be happy, be alive, be free, be you.