Honesty: The Key For a Strong Relationship. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro, and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram. This is the last part of our Relationship Building Month. Today, we will talk about the most important trait in having a strong relationship, honesty.
Everyone knows the importance of honesty in a relationship. Yet why does everyone lie in their relationship? I’m not just speaking for couples, but relationships in general. It’s true that honesty is not always painless. However, if you want a real relationship, you are going to need honesty involved.
Why Aren’t People Honest With Each Other?
Why Aren’t People Honest With Each Other?
1. Honesty and Lies Are a Part of Humanity.
I know you hate that saying. When you ask why they lie and they say, “I’m sorry. I’m only human.” You feel enraged from that and I agree that’s not a viable answer. However, there are truths to this saying. There are two things we learn when we are growing up. One, do not lie because it’s not right. Two, it’s okay to lie sometimes, depending on the situation.
It’s so funny that lying is okay as long as it’s “white lies”. In reality, no one can really determine what a white lie really is. That is why some “white lies” we say are not white lies at all. It’s just hard not to lie because that will always be a part of our environment.
2. Honesty Is Hard Once We’ve Built a Big Secret
A lot of people find it hard to be honest once they have held something for too long. They have built something that is too heavy for the heart to bear. Once that happens, they are too afraid to be honest because the truth will definitely hurt. It’s like digging a grave too deep to get out of. However, holding the lies to yourself is worse than telling the truth.
How to Bring Honesty In a Relationship
Do Not Lie in The First Place
1. Do not lie in the first place.
Now I know what you want to say, “Yes Sam I SHOULDN’T HAVE LIED. If only I can get out!”. Do not worry, we will go over that next. For now, we will talk about not making a mistake in the first place.
Whenever you are going to make a decision, you always want to think before you act. I said that in my last article about taking opportunities. This is even more true when your decision involves someone else. In a way, this should be common sense. If it’ll affect someone else, then calculate what you will be doing. However, we are not perfect and will make mistakes, which leads us to the next part.
Tell The Truth As Quickly As Possible
2. Once you do something bad, tell the truth as quickly as possible.
This is probably the hardest part for anyone to do. We are too afraid to tell the truth because we care about the relationship and we know that they will get hurt. Then we think of the question, “If you really cared, then why did you decide to hurt them in the first place?”.
We all have our own reasons why we are holding on to our sins. Most likely they will not accept the reasons. However, it’s better to tell while it’s still small. If we tell once it’s too big, it will hurt even more. It would be worse if we kept it a secret, but they find out on their own. Tell it while it’s still small and get over with it. It’ll hurt, but at least it’s out, instead of holding it in.
Prove You Won’t Make The Same Mistake
3. Prove that you won’t make the same mistake again.
This is another hard thing to do. Once you break the trust, it’ll take time for it to come back again. Most likely they wouldn’t want to talk to you for a while. Maybe they will limit your conversations. You can feel the cautiousness they are putting over you.
Sometimes the best way to help build the trust again is to distance yourself a little from the person. They will get a chance to think about everything that happened and will decide whether or not to give another chance. Of course, don’t leave them entirely because they might still need you, so always be available when those times come because it will come.
Transition The Relationship to An Honest One
4. Slowly transition the relationship to an honest one.
The last two were the hardest. This one will be the most uncomfortable. However, it’s only uncomfortable starting off. If you do transition to this, then the last two on the list will become easier to do. Like I said earlier, you will make mistakes again, but once you build an honest relationship, then you wouldn’t hold things to yourself anymore.
You can start the transition by being honest with each other about the things you like and dislike. Make sure to agree with the person that no one will be offended with the answer. It’s only from opinion and it shouldn’t affect the relationship. From there, you can be honest with other things, like the things you guys agree upon, but actually you don’t agree.
Something to Remember
Something to Remember
True honesty doesn’t begin with others, but with you yourself. It’s important to know this because if you don’t, then most likely you will make the same mistakes over again. Once you make the same mistakes again, then others will trust you less. From there, they will most likely want to cut off the relationship between you two because of all the same lies and wrongdoings. Learn to be honest with yourself first, so you can become a better relationship builder.
This concludes the end of Relationship Building Month. However, we will always talk about building relationships here in the BE Mindset. You can read all of them in our Lesson Library.
For now, let us recap on everything. In the first two weeks, we talked about communication. First, we talked about the importance of listening, followed by how to give a direct message. In the third week, we discussed time investment and why it’s important for building relationships. Finally, we talked about the main key element in holding a strong relationship, honesty.
Thank you for spending time with us today. Click here to see our last article on investing time in a relationship. If you want to know how to create and take opportunities, then read that article here. Follow our lesson library as well because every Monday will be our Lesson Library Newsletter where we talk about the news that’s been happening over the week. We will discuss what the news means for you as an individual, as well as the topics we’ve covered during the week. This is The BE Mindset Group and always remember to be happy, be alive, be free, be you.