Hello everyone, I hope you had an amazing Valentine’s Day. If your single that’s fine too. It’s great to have fun on your own. In the spirit of this month, let’s dig into the subject of love. I think one of the funniest things my parents would say to me is, “Your generation doesn’t know how to love.” I would laugh whenever they bring it up, but when I do get to think about it, it’s true, nonetheless. In reality, the way we love now is different from how the older generation used to love. As technology advances, the way we live our everyday lives changes as well. This includes being in relationships. Nowadays, you can download an app to meet other single people in your area. Also, because of video chats like FaceTime, you can have a well LDR (Long Distance Relationship).
Long were the days of how our parents used to love. Now I’m not trying to bash on our current way of loving. What I am going to share here are basic things to remember about love. Think of this as forgotten truths about love. Understanding this can help improve your relationship, or if you’re single, help bring love along the way. Here are the 5 forgotten truths about love.
1. Love is selfless.
You know I had to start with this one. In our current time, many people are pretty selfish. They like to see themselves as “victims” or that the world revolves around them. Now I have to mention this because the truth is that many people don’t even realize they’re doing this. If you’re the person who starts to imagine other people in your life who is like this, then most likely you’re this person as well.
I’m saying this because, in reality, we’re all pretty selfish one way or another. So when I mention this, it doesn’t mean I don’t believe in self-love. I believe if you want to love others to the best of your ability, then you should first love yourself. But once you do build enough love for yourself, then you must love others selflessly. For couples, always think about the times you made each other happy because you thought of one another.
The moment you become selfish in the relationship, that’s when tension builds up. From tension comes trust issues, trust issues come obsession, obsession comes unhappiness, unhappiness comes toxicity, etc. For single people, try to love someone just to love. “Sam, I’m already loving others just for loving and I’m still single. That doesn’t work.” I’m here to tell you this is your problem. You’re loving others because you are thinking of yourself. You’re not thinking of the other person at all. They’ll have their reasons why, so don’t expect things right away. That right one will come to you, and you’ll know.
2. Love is giving.
This part correlates with the first one. I had to bring this one up because this is one that’s usually misunderstood. For both singles and couples, you’re either a taker or you give way too much. Let’s talk about couples first. I believe when it comes to couples, there should be an even balance between giving and taking.
I’ve seen many relationships where one is giving more while the other is taking. This usually ends with the giver becoming tired of giving and wants to give up in the relationship. I’d say to make sure this doesn’t happen, always be transparent with each other. Don’t be afraid to talk “those talks” with one another. Even if you know it’s going to hurt, telling the truth is more relieving than keeping things to yourself. And let’s be honest with ourselves, everything hidden will eventually be revealed. Might as well be open up from the beginning.
Now for the single people, you’re either giving way too much or you’re keeping too much to yourself. Open your eyes to see people as people, meaning giving too much of yourself will actually make things worse. People will get uncomfortable really quick. At the same time, don’t expect to get love when you’re not really giving love. Give love the right way, and enough so the people will feel comfortable.
3. Stop searching for love. Love will come to you… sort of.
This one is really for the singles now. What I want you to do is STOP. Literally, stop and think about it. Are you actually ready for love? Maybe you want it because “everyone else” is doing it? Are you in a hurry for love? Well if you’re actually ready for love, then stop searching for it… sort of.
What I mean is that this has two parts to it. First, work on yourself to give out love in general. You know the golden rule, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The same thing applies here. Show love so love will be attracted to you.
The second part is this, don’t necessarily “look” for love, but build relationships that can lead to love. There are so many people who dread the friend zone. I think we shouldn’t be afraid of the friend zone. I picture the friend zone as a foundation for a long-lasting relationship. However, this doesn’t mean you should get into friendships just to hopefully be in a relationship. If you’re not genuine in your friendship, it’ll show, which is why I said don’t look for love. Build your relationships in life, and let love do its work. You will know when the right one is there for you.
4. Love is patient.
Now here’s a hard pill to swallow. This can go along with the last part. True love is not meant to be rushed. Love shouldn’t move fast. If love “comes” quickly, there’s a chance it’ll leave quickly. For those who are trying to get the love for other things besides love, there are plenty of ways to do those other things than finding love. The funny thing about love is that it’s like a wild card, it comes when you least expect it. For the sisters, sorry love doesn’t think about age. For the brothers, sorry love doesn’t think about finances. Love can come at any age and whether you’re broke or rich. Now if you want to love for love, then just follow the last parts. Do not rush love. The best kind of love comes to those who are patient for it.
5. Love is meant for the long term.
Finally, we reached the honest truth of love. If you came here to see how fast you can get a boyfriend/girlfriend, then sorry to disappoint you. This is not for people who just want one night stands or are thinking of just jumping in a relationship. If you noticed from the last parts, true love was meant to be long term. That’s why the majority of our parents are OUR parents. They held on to true love, and you are the proof of that love.
Love should always be there in your life. For couples, there’s no rush, but make sure that person is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. That promise should always be there, “till death do us part”. For single people, love is not a game. It’s not made for us to jump from person to person. Know and analyze everything before you decide to love because love takes hard work and commitment. Love will come at you out of nowhere, so it’s better to understand it now instead of being unprepared when it finally comes.
These are the 5 forgotten truths about love. If you review all these parts you’ll realize one thing, true love is hard. There’s nothing wrong if you feel like you are missing some of these parts or you need to work on some of these. In reality, we are not perfect people. We will make mistakes. We will say or do things that may hurt others. There will still be fighting. A lot of arguments will happen. There will be tears. But if we work to make our love purer, then our love will be strong enough to hold us together.
Now if you are single and you are afraid about love, you have every right to. Love will hurt. It can even kill you. But giving that chance to love will bring more fulfillment than not loving at all. I’d like to end this with a passage from The Bible on 1 Corinthians 13, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always preserves. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”