Mentalities For Us to Work On

Mentalities For Us to Work On. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro, and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you are new here, follow us on Instagram for updates on new events happening in The BE Mindset community. As we are going through our lives within this current pandemic, a strong mentality is a part of what we need in order to stay sane. Last time, we talked about holding our integrity and creating opportunities. Today we will discuss different mentalities and which ones will help us in the long run.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a psychologist or a doctor. This is for study purposes only. Everything shown here is based on personal opinion. The facts we took were researched from actual case studies. Please take with your own consent before you decide what to understand. Thank you.

INTRODUCTION


INTRODUCTION

  Everyone views things based on their mentality. Optimists look at everything with positivity. Pessimists view life with negativity. Then there are realists, which is harder to explain. Their perspective with every situation is realistic. Yet there is more to a realist besides that. We will discuss these three mentalities now.

Three Major Mentalities


Three Major Mentalities

1. Pessimism

  This mentality is known as a negative mentality. Having this mentality can lead to depression. Most people with this mentality usually show the same signs as those with major depression but have not reached the same level as major depression. However, this mentality can bring one to reckless consequences. If you want to read more of when we talked about depression, then read our article here.

  There was a study that shows pessimism linking to long term stress. Emily Shemanski from PsyPost did a study on this. Turns out that stress can affect all types of mentalities besides pessimism. This shows how everyone’s mindset can easily change, so if one is a pessimist, they can still have a chance to change.

2. Optimism

  If pessimism is a negative mentality, then optimism is a positive mentality. Optimism is seen to be a better mentality for our mental health but it turns out it’s great for our physical health as well. Harvard Medical School did a study of how optimism can help our blood pressure and even our heart. They found that 2,564 people, men and women, age 65 and older, had lower blood pressure. We know the positives of being optimistic, so we will go over the last mentality.

3. Realism

  This is more complex to talk about compared to the last two. Realism is more than just a mentality, it is also a philosophy. Realism is a mentality that decides reality from conceptual ideas or beliefs. It looks at what we hold as natural or common sense. Thinking realistic has two traits.

  • Existence: What is universally decided on how it exists
  • Independence: The object is independent of what others say or think about it

  For the case of our study, we will just talk about realism being the view of seeing reality.

What is The Best Mentality to Have?


What is The Best Mentality to Have?

  Just as we have mentioned earlier, our mentalities can change. It can change as we get older or from stress or other outside forces. When it comes to optimism or pessimism, it is generally better to have optimism. However, I think that too much of anything is not good for anyone. Anyways, even the most optimistic person will hold something negative within themselves.

  There was a documentary called, “The Secret”. In this documentary, they speak of the secret being the law of attraction. If you think positively and believe really hard for what you want, then eventually it will come to you. I’ m sure like most speculate you do not believe in this. Well, neither do I. This does not mean I do not believe in spiritual power, but I don’t think to be too optimistic will have the world come your way.

What About Realism?

  This is where the realism comes in. This mentality helps put a balance with optimism and pessimism. It makes you think logically and use basic common sense in certain areas of life. An example would be like catching the flu and the pessimist will think they will die, while the realist will know they’ll survive. Another example would be an optimist thinking they can get whatever they want if they just “believe”, while a realist knows you have to put work and effort to get the things you want.

  Obviously I am exaggerating the examples. It makes it easier to understand my point. However, I don’t think we should think too realistic either. At the end of the day, realism is a philosophy, meaning that it can change as life goes by.

  This especially comes true to what we perceive as reality. At one point we thought the earth was the center of the universe, the earth was flat, or even the idea that humans cannot fly. So have a balance with each of these mentalities, but have more of optimism and realism.

How to Work on Your Mentality

Take Care of Your Body


1. Take care of your body.

  We spoke of the importance of taking care of your body. There is plenty of research showing the effects of a healthy body to a strong mind. Just remember that a healthy body is more than just exercise. You have to be mindful of your eating as well. This does not necessarily mean dieting because dieting is only for the short term. A healthy body means having a healthy lifestyle, so be more aware of what you are eating and always find time to exercise.

Strengthen Your Mind


2. Strengthen your mind.

  This is really the best way to work on your mentality. Your brain is a muscle, so if you do not keep it in shape, it will be mentally weak. And just like how there are different ways to work out your body, there are different ways to work out your mind.

  You can work out the spiritual part of the mind through meditation. Then you can exercise your “school smart” and “street smart”. The main ways you can work both of these out is through self-education and problem-solving. The school smart will help add skills for innovative and creative work. With street smart, it will guide you through surviving and socializing.  There are more ways, but these two are the main.

Surround Yourself with Good People


3. Surround yourself with good people.

  Being around good people will guide you to being a good person as well. Everyone is influenced based on what surrounds them. So if you are surrounded by toxic people, let them go because they will make your life worse. If you live in a toxic area, then find a way to isolate yourself from that area. However, if this is currently too hard, then find good people as soon as you can. They should be able to be there for you and guide you to becoming a better person.

Work on Your Spirit


4. Work on your spiritual side.

  This may seem a little confusing since I have talked about having realism. I am not here to tell you to believe in a god, but you have to admit that there are some things that cannot be explained by reality. Science alone is still in the works, so there are many things it still cannot explain. Now if you can’t believe in a higher being, then at least work on your spiritual self. To be whole is to work on every part of you, which is the body, the mind, and the spirit.

  I have already put meditation as the exercise for the spirit and mind. If you want to try something else, then you can always try Tai Chi. The Chinese transformed this martial art from a combat art to spiritual art. There are many moves to it that are soft and meant to relax the body and spirit.

Something to Remember


Something to Remember

  I will repeat myself saying this, but our mentalities can always change. It can change through age. It can also change from some kind of unstoppable force. Things like stress, anxiety, fear, or trauma can make us think one way or another. Doing everything mentioned earlier does not guarantee you with always having a great mentality, but it does give you a chance to come back to yourself if ever you were swayed by such things.

CONCLUSION


CONCLUSION

  Thank you for joining us today. If you want extra strength for your mind, then sign up for our newsletter. Every Monday we give highlights of top news happening during the week and break it down for you to understand. We then show how that will affect you in your life. This includes a positive story to start your Monday right and a brief short of articles we wrote that week. Best of all, it’s free! Sign up today and be a part of the community.

  If you haven’t yet read on how to strengthen your integrity, you can read that here. Or you can click here to read what you should do while you are stuck at home. Comment below on what you will do to work on your mentality. This is The BE Mindset Group and always remember to be happy, be alive, be free, be you.

Sources:

Harvard Medical School: https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/optimism-and-your-health

Fiona Parashar: http://positivepsychology.org.uk/optimism-pessimism-theory/

Emily Shemanski: https://www.psypost.org/2016/12/study-finds-long-term-stress-pessimism-linked-46669

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/realism-intl-relations/

Honesty: The Key For a Strong Relationship

Honesty: The Key For a Strong Relationship. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro, and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram. This is the last part of our Relationship Building Month. Today, we will talk about the most important trait in having a strong relationship, honesty.

INTRODUCTION


INTRODUCTION

  Everyone knows the importance of honesty in a relationship. Yet why does everyone lie in their relationship? I’m not just speaking for couples, but relationships in general. It’s true that honesty is not always painless. However, if you want a real relationship, you are going to need honesty involved.

Why Aren’t People Honest With Each Other?


Why Aren’t People Honest With Each Other?

1. Honesty and Lies Are a Part of Humanity.

  I know you hate that saying. When you ask why they lie and they say, “I’m sorry. I’m only human.” You feel enraged from that and I agree that’s not a viable answer. However, there are truths to this saying. There are two things we learn when we are growing up. One, do not lie because it’s not right. Two, it’s okay to lie sometimes, depending on the situation.

  It’s so funny that lying is okay as long as it’s “white lies”. In reality, no one can really determine what a white lie really is. That is why some “white lies” we say are not white lies at all. It’s just hard not to lie because that will always be a part of our environment.

2. Honesty Is Hard Once We’ve Built a Big Secret

  A lot of people find it hard to be honest once they have held something for too long. They have built something that is too heavy for the heart to bear. Once that happens, they are too afraid to be honest because the truth will definitely hurt. It’s like digging a grave too deep to get out of. However, holding the lies to yourself is worse than telling the truth.

How to Bring Honesty In a Relationship

Do Not Lie in The First Place


1. Do not lie in the first place.

  Now I know what you want to say, “Yes Sam I SHOULDN’T HAVE LIED. If only I can get out!”. Do not worry, we will go over that next. For now, we will talk about not making a mistake in the first place.

  Whenever you are going to make a decision, you always want to think before you act. I said that in my last article about taking opportunities. This is even more true when your decision involves someone else. In a way, this should be common sense. If it’ll affect someone else, then calculate what you will be doing. However, we are not perfect and will make mistakes, which leads us to the next part.

Tell The Truth As Quickly As Possible


2. Once you do something bad, tell the truth as quickly as possible.

  This is probably the hardest part for anyone to do. We are too afraid to tell the truth because we care about the relationship and we know that they will get hurt. Then we think of the question, “If you really cared, then why did you decide to hurt them in the first place?”.

  We all have our own reasons why we are holding on to our sins. Most likely they will not accept the reasons. However, it’s better to tell while it’s still small. If we tell once it’s too big, it will hurt even more. It would be worse if we kept it a secret, but they find out on their own. Tell it while it’s still small and get over with it. It’ll hurt, but at least it’s out, instead of holding it in.

Prove You Won’t Make The Same Mistake


3. Prove that you won’t make the same mistake again.

  This is another hard thing to do. Once you break the trust, it’ll take time for it to come back again. Most likely they wouldn’t want to talk to you for a while. Maybe they will limit your conversations. You can feel the cautiousness they are putting over you.

  Sometimes the best way to help build the trust again is to distance yourself a little from the person. They will get a chance to think about everything that happened and will decide whether or not to give another chance. Of course, don’t leave them entirely because they might still need you, so always be available when those times come because it will come.

Transition The Relationship to An Honest One


4. Slowly transition the relationship to an honest one.

  The last two were the hardest. This one will be the most uncomfortable. However, it’s only uncomfortable starting off. If you do transition to this, then the last two on the list will become easier to do. Like I said earlier, you will make mistakes again, but once you build an honest relationship, then you wouldn’t hold things to yourself anymore.

  You can start the transition by being honest with each other about the things you like and dislike. Make sure to agree with the person that no one will be offended with the answer. It’s only from opinion and it shouldn’t affect the relationship. From there, you can be honest with other things, like the things you guys agree upon, but actually you don’t agree.

Something to Remember


Something to Remember

  True honesty doesn’t begin with others, but with you yourself. It’s important to know this because if you don’t, then most likely you will make the same mistakes over again. Once you make the same mistakes again, then others will trust you less. From there, they will most likely want to cut off the relationship between you two because of all the same lies and wrongdoings. Learn to be honest with yourself first, so you can become a better relationship builder.

CONCLUSION


CONCLUSION

  This concludes the end of Relationship Building Month. However, we will always talk about building relationships here in the BE Mindset. You can read all of them in our Lesson Library.

  For now, let us recap on everything. In the first two weeks, we talked about communication. First, we talked about the importance of listening, followed by how to give a direct message. In the third week, we discussed time investment and why it’s important for building relationships. Finally, we talked about the main key element in holding a strong relationship, honesty.

  Thank you for spending time with us today. Click here to see our last article on investing time in a relationship. If you want to know how to create and take opportunities, then read that article here. Follow our lesson library as well because every Monday will be our Lesson Library Newsletter where we talk about the news that’s been happening over the week. We will discuss what the news means for you as an individual, as well as the topics we’ve covered during the week. This is The BE Mindset Group and always remember to be happy, be alive, be free, be you.

Try Something New or Stay Fearful

  Try Something New or Stay Fearful. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram for updates on new events happening in The BE Mindset community. We always get a rush from trying something new. Today we will be talking deep into this topic.

INTRODUCTION


INTRODUCTION

  Trying something new can have many benefits. It gives a rush physically, mentally, and emotionally. Of course, it isn’t good if you’re going to try something bad. In general, we need to try something new. We’ll talk about why and trying something new that you are afraid of.


Why Do We Try Something New?

1. We try something new because the feeling excites us.

  Debbie Hampton from The Best Brain Possible spoke of how happiness stimulates the “feel good” chemicals in our bodies. Some of those chemicals include dopamine and endorphins. Those are the same chemicals that are stimulated from exercise, eating chocolate, and other pleasurable activities. What more of when we are excited?

  Excitement can make your blood rush. Remember the time when you were a kid and your parents told you everyone is going to Disney World tomorrow? You know you haven’t been there before and you always wanted to go there, so you try to go to sleep. I said “try” because you know you can’t sleep. Your excitement keeps your mind awake and it’s an amazing feeling.

2. We try something new because we want to be better people.

  A reason why we choose to try something new is that we want to grow as people. Alison Pearce Stevens from Science News for Students talks about how learning rewires the brain.

  Receiving new information stimulates our brains. At first, we do not understand the new information we are taking in. This is why we don’t remember the first time we’re trying to learn something new. However, as we keep on putting the same new information in our heads, we eventually learn from it and our brains become accustomed to it. The new information eventually becomes new knowledge, and as we receive more knowledge, we become better than who we were before.

3. We try something new because we are not satisfied with who we currently are.

  This goes along with the one above. Yes, we want to grow as people, but the reason why we want to grow is that we are unsatisfied with who we currently are. The way we are today is not what we want to be for the rest of our lives. Of course, this doesn’t go for everyone, but usually, we want to grow because we believe there is something more for us.

  Now when I say this it doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t love yourself. You can love who you are right now, but as you love yourself, you begin to feel like you want something more. Being unsatisfied with who you are doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself. Neither does it mean you are ungrateful with what you have. What I am saying is that you can love yourself, you can be grateful, but there will always be a part of us that wants more and that’s okay.

Try Something We Are Fearful of


Try Something We Are Fearful of

  I was speaking of trying something new in general. Now I will speak of trying something we are afraid of. What’s the difference? It’s easier to put it this way, it’s because we don’t want to do it.

  You are probably thinking, “Why would I want to do something that I don’t want to do?” There are many benefits to doing this. Earlier I said we want to try something new because we want to grow as individuals. Well, trying something you are afraid of will make you grow at a faster rate. In one of my articles I wrote about the majority of our fear comes from what we do not know, so doing the thing you are afraid of will put everything in front of you to see and experience.

  Now, of course, you shouldn’t try something that’s a health risk. For example, if you never drank before and you’re being forced to do it but you are afraid of what it does to you, then don’t do it. The same goes for all forms of smoking and drugs. There are certain fears that should be calculated, while there are some that should just be done. So now we will talk about how to try something we are fearful of.

How to Try Something We Are Fearful of

Nike


1. Nike

  I said Nike because I don’t know if I’m allowed to write their motto without a lawsuit. All jokes aside, their motto makes sense in life. If you need a hint of their motto, it’s “just…”.

  I remember when I was joining my missionary program for my church. It’s a voluntary two-year program in my church where we get sent out of our homes to support the missionary journeys of our other churches in the USA. I know I wanted to go, but a part of me was still afraid. This will be the first time I move out of my home and out of California. I told this to a close friend of mine and I will never forget what he said to me. He told me, “You see the water, but you can’t see through it. Just have faith, put a foot in, and then jump.”

  Ever since that day, I took what he told me to heart and live my life that way. Of course, there are some things I am still afraid of, but I have gone through my other fears along the way. I wouldn’t say I overcame it, but I wouldn’t be as fearful if I go through it again. For example, I’m afraid of heights, but I experienced skydiving and I am down to do it again. Comment below if you want me to talk about those experiences and the things I’ve learned from them.

Calculate the Risks


2. Calculate the risks, but don’t think too much.

  This goes for certain fears that should be calculated. For example, the fear of starting a business. You should be wary of the risks, but you shouldn’t let the risks stop you from doing it. This goes the same for other things you are afraid of.

  Let’s take riding a rollercoaster for example. You may have watched those videos of rollercoasters flying off the rail and it adds on to your fear. However, if those videos are from a sketchy theme park and you are in Six Flags or Sea World, then be realistic with your calculations. If you are afraid because of the heights, realize that you will most likely be safe because there will always be a guard holding on to you. Know how to calculate the risks without bias on your fears.

Use Common Sense


3. Use common sense.

  There are certain fears that are easier to go through if you use basic common sense. As I brought it up, we have a biased judgment when it comes to things we are afraid of. We forget to use logical thinking and common sense. For example, we’re afraid to eat a vegetable we never tried before. Will you die from eating the vegetable? Most likely, you will not.

  Of course I am using an easier example for you to understand better. Just try to evaluate with your head instead of emotions. It may be hard at first, so if you need to, take around 24 hours to think about it. This amount of time will let the emotional thoughts get out first and the logical thoughts second.

Something to Remember


Something to Remember

  When you’re trying to do something you are really afraid of, realize what you are also doing. This thought to fight through your fear is a sign that you want to grow up stronger. When you realize this, pat yourself on the back because not everyone has the strength to do this. Most people let their emotions run their life. The moment you begin to think logically instead of emotionally is the moment when you are beginning to mature as an individual.

CONCLUSION


CONCLUSION

  Thank you for joining us today. If you want to see the article where I talk about fear, then click here. If you want to learn about making and taking opportunities, click here because we discussed this as well. Hopefully, after reading all this, you will try something new today that you were afraid of. If you are, comment below on what new thing will you try that you didn’t want to try before. This is the BE Mindset and always remember to be happy, be alive, be free, be you.

SOURCES:

Alison Pearce Stevens

Investing Time Into a Relationship

  Investing Time Into a Relationship. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram. This is part three in our Relationship Building Month. We talked about how to communicate and now we will discuss the most important part of building relationships.

INTRODUCTION


INTRODUCTION

  A relationship is built on trust. However, nobody gives trust for free. Everyone builds a wall of protection around themselves. The strength of that wall depends on how many times their trust was broken and how badly it was broken. This is why when you were a kid it was easier to make new friends. One, because you had no real knowledge of trust and also because you didn’t live long enough to get hurt that way.

  During the first half of this month, we were teaching the art of communication. To be a great listener and a powerful speaker only opens the door for someone to trust you. To keep that door open and to allow the person to show more of themselves to you, this is where time investment takes place.

Importance of Investing Time


Importance of Investing Time

  Every person knows this quote from a certain famous individual, “Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world.” If you know who it is, then share him in the comments. Everyone always uses this for investing with money. The same case goes for investing in relationships. The amount of time you’ve built with the person will allow them to open up more to you.

  The moment they open up to you is a sign that they are trusting you. Not only that but how you connect with them will change the matter as well. I always like to think of relationships like growing a plant. You plant the seed on rich soil, give it water and proper sunlight, then watch it grow along the way. So now we will talk about how to invest your time with someone the right way.

How to Invest In a Relationship

Investing means to show your dedication.


1. Investing means to show your dedication to the person.

  This should be an obvious one, but not everyone sticks to it. Think of it as your New Year’s Resolution. You only follow it for the first couple of months, then let it go afterward. It shouldn’t be that way when it comes to a relationship.

  What you have to realize is that relationship investment is not only a personal matter. Compared to investing in working out or building wealth, investing in a relationship involves someone else’s feelings and emotions. Other people will know when you are not as dedicated to them compared to when you guys first met. Don’t lose heart to the person, especially if you were the first one to initiate the relationship in the first place. You don’t need to dedicate your whole life to the person, but do not belittle them as well.

Investing should have surprises.


2. Investing should have surprises in them.

  What makes a relationship deeper? It is a surprise that makes an interesting relationship. Catching the person off guard will make them want to be with you more because you will be remembered as someone who the fun never ends.

  Are all surprises good? The answer is no. There are certain surprises that can lead to negative affect in the relationship. So if you’re planning on surprising someone, make sure you really think about what that surprise will be and how it will lead to something positive or negative in the relationship. Awareness is important when it comes to something like this.

Conversations should be a mix.


3. Conversations should be a mix of small and deep talks.

  In the last article, we talked about how to give direct messaging, which if you haven’t seen that yet, click here to see it. Direct messaging goes into the category of deep conversations. It’s great to have these conversations, but not every time. The deep conversations should be well mixed in between a good amount of small talk.

  It’s funny to know that a lot of people dread small talk. I myself prefer to have deeper conversations over small talk. However, small talk isn’t bad as long as you know what you are doing. The only reason why people hate small talk is that there’s a tendency for it to feel awkward. This may or may not be your fault, but if you want to learn how to small talk, then subscribe to our Lesson Library for more.

Be there when you are needed.


4. Be there when you are needed the most.

  This is probably the most crucial part when it comes to investing in a relationship. There will be times when you will be needed for them. This doesn’t happen all the time. It’ll happen every now and then. But these moments are the most memorable moments of their lives.

  These moments are usually when they are at their lowest or at their highest. As people, we like to share our hardships and victories with others. If you are really close to the person, then they will most likely want to share those moments with you. So if you miss these memorable moments, they will remember that. It’s like when a child graduates or receives an award, but the parents aren’t there to support them. They will remember that for the rest of their lives.

Something to Remember


Something to Remember

  You need to know if you should cut the relationship. I know we’ve been talking about investing in a relationship and now we’re talking about cutting it. Think of this, earlier I was talking about how investing in a relationship is like growing a plant. Yet if you noticed, I didn’t specify what seed you planted. The flower that will blossom can either be beautiful or poisonous.

  Most people won’t show their true selves until they are completely comfortable with you. Now does that mean once you do see the bad in them, then you should cut it off? No, of course not. Everyone has something in them that you will not like. You yourself are not even perfect.

  The only time you should cut the relationship is when you feel like you are changing for the worst and the relationship is toxic. Of course, if you believe in your relationship and the other person doesn’t want to break it, then both of you should try to fix the relationship. However, if the other person doesn’t care, then it’s best to let them go.

CONCLUSION


CONCLUSION

  Thank you for joining us today. I hope you have learned the value of investing your time in a relationship. If you want to finally invest your time for someone, then comment on who and why in the comment section below. If you haven’t yet, click here to read an older article on Five Forgotten Truths About Love. This is the BE Mindset and always remember to be happy, be alive, be free, be you.

Depression & The Journey to Happiness

  Depression and The Journey to Happiness. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram for updates on new events happening in The BE Mindset community. As you know our motto here in the BE Mindset is, “Be Happy, Be Alive, Be Free, Be You”. Today, we’ll be talking about the first part, “Be Happy”.

INTRODUCTION


INTRODUCTION

  Everyone is always in the pursuit of happiness. The beautiful thing about happiness is that everyone has their own definition of happiness. For some it’s family, others may be wealth or prosperity. The journey is different for everyone. Here in the BE Mindset, we help people with moving forward on that journey.

When I say the journey, I don’t mean a journey of looking for happiness. The journey is working for happiness. At the end of the day, you are the one who gives happiness a definition. That is why we love to help people in starting their journey to happiness.

  However, the journey can seem out of reach for some people. There are those who have a troubling mental state that’s holding them back to reach the journey. This mental state is called depression. You probably have love ones or you yourself have this mental illness. If you want to know how to help someone going through this, we’ll be discussing all of that here.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Everything that we will talk about here are from studies of specialists who know the real health problems. Depression is a serious illness and should not be taken lightly. I am merely showing research from other people. If you or a loved one is actually going through this, please go to a doctor right away.


Who This Is For

  There are two parts why “Be Happy” is in the motto. First, to help guide you to find and pursue your journey to happiness. Second, to give knowledge to those who have people in there lives that are wanting to find happiness as well, but don’t know-how. I’ve met so many people who have instances where someone they care about is going through hard times but don’t know how to help them. We here in the BE Mindset will help you in finding the answers you are looking for.

DEPRESSION


DEPRESSION

  Before we can talk about combating depression we need to know what depression really is. Depression is defined as, “a state of being depressed or an act of depressing”. There are relative terms used for the word depression, but for our case, we will only discuss two. One is a state of feeling sad, while the other is a mood disorder. Both are serious, yet one is more complicated than the other. So in speaking of the mood disorder, we’ll be discussing six variations of depression.

6 Types of Depression


6 Types of Depression

1. Major Depression

  This is the main type of depression. Most likely when you think of what depression is, this is what best fits the description. Someone who’s suffering from this kind of depression is going through the darkest mood possible. They are most likely depressed almost all the time every day. The dark emotions consume them and it’s hard to get out of.

Symptoms

  With major depression, one has many symptoms. The one that shows is a loss of interest in everything they do. They feel like they are worthless, so they are accustomed to suicidal thoughts. It’s easier for them to lose energy, so they might feel more tired during the day and harder to sleep at night. They most likely have a harder time making decisions and concentrating.

  More physical signs include losing or gaining weight. They slow down and seem more sluggish. Feelings of restlessness and agitation take over the mind as well. And because they lost interest in everything, they can’t find pleasure in anything anymore.


2. Persistent Depressive Disorder

  This is a type of depression that lasts two years or more. It was originally called “dysthymia”, which is a low mood depression that might not reach major depression. Another name for this is “chronic major depression”.

Symptoms

  Now people with this type of depression can still move day today. However, they don’t have much energy and often reach fatigue. They have low self – esteem, often feeling hopeless. Sleeping habits change each time, either having too much or too little sleep. Their appetite changes as well. Focus and concentration become a real struggle for one with this type of depression.


3. Bipolar Disorder

  This type of depression is like a coin, there are two sides. On one side, they can have a positive mood. The other side shows a negative mood. What keeps them similar to each other is the fact that they are all done in high energy, which means they can be reckless in their actions. This is why its other name is “maniac depression”.

Symptoms

  The low state of this depression is basically like major depression. Unfortunately, the high state is not healthy either. Their self – esteem is too high, becoming too unrealistic. They are thinking and moving faster, but they take dangerous risks and are reckless in their actions. They still have bad sleeping habits not because they are having trouble with it, but simply because the high energy loses the need for sleep. Eventually, these actions lead to self – destruction and fall deep into the depressive state showing the symptoms of major depression.


4. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

  This kind of depression comes during the change of seasons. One can usually feel this during fall and winter. This may come because of the change in natural light, which is why everything seems darker during fall and winter, while it’s brighter during spring and summer. It could have also come because of the change in our body’s natural clock. Even if this isn’t as dangerous as the ones previously mentioned, it is still a common type of depression that most people feel.


5. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

  These last two types are depressions specifically only women go through. One of them is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). This disorder is an intense version of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS). The disorder shows itself at the beginning of a woman’s period. It shows at the start of ovulation and ends at the beginning of mensuration.

Symptoms

  This disorder causes constant mood swings. They feel like they are being overwhelmed. The overwhelming feeling causes anxiety. Because of anxiety, it becomes harder to focus and concentrate. All of this makes everything and everyone around them irritating.

  The physical symptoms are the same. They are easily fatigued. However, that doesn’t make sleep easier, so their sleeping habits change. This goes the same for the change in appetite.


6. Perinatal Depression

  This is a depression that can come either during pregnancy or after childbirth. Its two other names are “peripartum” and “postpartum”. The depression would come as episodes, big and small. What makes this kind of depression worse is that it not only affects the mothers, but it can affect the infants as well. A study was shown that one in seven women can get this depression once they give birth.

Actionable Steps to Fighting Depression & Pursue Happiness

If You Are Going Through Depression


If You Are Going Through Depression

1. Seek Medical Help.

  I will keep saying this first because your depression can be serious. If you are showing signs of any of the symptoms listed above, then you should be treated immediately. Even if you are not sure how severe your depression is, it’s better to be safe than sorry. At the end of the day, everything I will say now will only be considered as supplements to the problem. The sooner you seek professional help, the sooner you can fight the depression.


2. Tell Your Loved Ones About It.

  The next best thing to do after seeking medical attention is to tell your loved ones about your depression. During your darkest moments, it’s best to tell your parents, a family member, your best friend, or your significant other. The tendency of people with depression is that they don’t tell other people about it.

  They feel hopeless and worthless. They begin to believe that nobody cares for them, which is not true. If you have depression and you decide to isolate yourself from the world, you have a higher chance of suicidal thoughts to take over your mind. Do not be afraid to tell anyone about it, just be open to your family and loved ones. They are there to care and love you, so remember that.


3. Find Something or Someone to Believe In.

  The most important thing for everyone is to believe in yourself. You need to love and take care of yourself first to begin the process of happiness. Unfortunately, people with depression have a hard time doing this. The reason I suggest believing in something or someone is that at the very least you will have something to look to and build a foundation for yourself.

  Just make sure what you choose to believe in is something that will help you in becoming a better person. That’s why it’s hard to fight religion because whether you really believe in a god or not, you can agree that generally, people who follow their religion are respectable people. They normally would keep to the core principals and transform into becoming a better person.

If a Love One is Going Through Depression


If a Love One is Going Through Depression

  Before I share this, I want to talk about a time I had with a friend of mine. She was telling me that she has a friend who was going through depression. She was confessing everything to her and my friend felt so useless on how to help her out. I also had a lot of people who comes to me with similar stories and problems. This list will help you out if you run to a similar situation.


1. If It’s Serious, Make Sure They Are Getting Professional Help.

  I’ve been saying this since earlier, so I won’t go in too deep on this part. Now sometimes your friend might just need someone to talk to. However, if he or she starts hurting themselves because of the depression, then you should do something about it. Notify the parents and doctors about it. Your friend would need medical attention, so do it before they hurt themselves even more.


2. Let Them Know You Love & Care For Them.

  As we mentioned earlier, depression makes people believe they are worthless and lose hope in everything, especially in themselves. You have to constantly let them know that they are not worthless. Tell them not to lose hope and to believe in themselves. Most importantly, tell them that you are there believing in them as well.

  During their dark times, you need to be with them and check up on them every time. They will need someone to lean on. In this case, you really need to tell and show them that you love them. Be there to make sure they’re alright.


3. Don’t Be Afraid If You Have Nothing to Say.

  This is what a majority of people fear. This is what my friend felt ashamed of. You know you wanted to say something, but you didn’t know how to say it. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you didn’t say anything. Like what I said earlier, sometimes they just need someone to talk to. As long as you are really listening to them and show that you are there with and for them, they will feel your effort.


4. If You Know You Should Say Something, Then Learn How.

  Now I know for most cases you know that you need to say something to them. So here’s the secret to knowing what to say, listen to them. Yes, you heard me right. You need to learn how to listen to them intently to know what to say to them. And when I say listen I don’t just mean to their words, but to their emotions as well.

  Even if you know the right words to say, without listening to their emotions, you can still say the wrong things. The art of listening is not just what we can hear, but what we can feel as well. To become a master at this takes time, practice, and experience. I know it’s hard to practice with limited time, so learn as quickly as possible. Luckily for you, we talk about the art of listening and communication here in the BE Mindset, so subscribe to always be updated on when we release a new article.


5. Be Patient With Them.

  I feel like this is obvious, but I’m going to mention just in case. Their depression won’t go away overnight. The fight against depression is a long battle, which may consume the majority of their lives. So do everything we talked about here and keep doing it. If you truly care for the person, you’ll see to it that at the end of all of it, you were there with them since the beginning.

Something to Remember


Something to Remember

  I know this is a deep topic we just talked about here. Just remember to never blame yourself, even when after everything you did, your friend ended up losing the battle. You need to know that you did everything you can to make sure they will be alright, so it’s not your fault if it didn’t work out in the end.

  I have many friends that either fought or are still fighting depression. Some are bipolar, while others are more severe. Luckily, they are doing fine now, but I know that’s not the case for everyone. Don’t let it bring you down, so surround yourself with love from your friends and family because, in the end, it’s love that will conquer everything. Now if you ever need anything from this matter, contact our email or DM our Instagram and we’ll be happy to support you in any way we can.

CONCLUSION


CONCLUSION

  Thank you for spending time with us. If you haven’t already, subscribe to us here at the BE Mindset to be updated on the latest articles. This month is our Relationship Building Month, so you definitely don’t want to miss that. Click here if you want to read Five Ways to Be a Great Listener, which perfectly fits into our topic. This is the BE Mindset, and always remember to be happy, be alive, be free, be you.

Sources

Webster: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/depression

Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007

Harvard Health Medical School: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/six-common-depression-types

WebMD Care: https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-types#2

How to Create Opportunities

  This is How to Create Opportunities. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram for updates on new events happening in The BE Mindset community. First off, I hope everyone is having a happy Easter. It may not be celebrated the same, but this sparks a new day for all of us.

INTRODUCTION


INTRODUCTION

  Last week we talked about holding on to our integrity. Now we will talk about taking opportunities. As I said before, the strength of our integrity is the foundation for what we build on. Once that integrity is strengthened, then what? What comes next is to seize the opportunities given to us.

Why Can’t You Find Any Opportunities?


Why Can’t You Find Any Opportunities?

  First of all, if you believe opportunities are only given to those who are well off, this is not true. To believe opportunities are given by luck or fate, this isn’t true either. Even though I do believe in God, I think opportunities are open for everyone. The problem is not “why can’t you find an opportunity”, but instead “why aren’t you looking for an opportunity”. The truth is we aren’t working hard enough to look for it.

  I know most of you are probably upset with what I said. It’s easier to cry and get angry than to accept reality. Let’s look at the story of Chris Gardner for a moment. I bring him up because I’m sure everyone watched the movie, “The Pursuit of Happyness”. He was homeless with his son and they were always moving from place to place until finally he passed his internship and became a stockbroker. The real story of Chris Gardner is even harder than what the movie portrayed.


HUNGER

  The reason why Chris Gardner eventually succeeded is because he was hungry, both figuratively and literally. Famous speakers, like Tony Robbins and Eric Thomas, talk about hunger as a drive for us to succeed in what we want to achieve. What I find crazy is that people only give in to that hunger when they are in hardships they can no longer handle. Now I know there are real people out there going through real hardships and they are having a hard time getting out of it. However, I know this is not the case for a majority of the people blessed enough to at least have a place to stay.

  Most of us just have dramatic first world problems. Especially if you live in America, you have a higher chance of succeeding in life. What separates the successful from everyone else is their mindset and how they use their time. Instead of crying and complaining, they are using that time to work hard and create opportunities for themselves. So you do not need to be well off or “lucky” to receive opportunities. You just need to work hard, smart, and humbly to have opportunities come to you.

How to Create Opportunities

Opportunities Begin With Learning New Skills.


1. Opportunities Begin With Learning New Skills.

  Here in the BE Mindset I always speak about investing in yourself. The importance proves itself more when you want more opportunities in life. What are the things you are good at? Work harder on those things. Do you want to learn new skills? Invest your time on it and go through with it without stopping. I won’t go too deep on this because we always talk about it here, so we’ll talk about the next important thing to do.

Opportunities Won’t Show Itself If You Don’t Show Yourself First.


2. Opportunities Won’t Show Itself If  You Don’t Show Yourself First.

  All the work will mean nothing if you don’t even show it. How will anyone reach out to you? Think of this as making a resumé. That resumé shows all the good things about you, as well as all the skills you have. Once you make it, you send it to every job you’re applying to.

  In this day and age, you can do more than create a resumé. If you want to put yourself out there more, create a social media following of you doing what you’re good at. There are so many platforms for you to try, but I would suggest starting from a platform you are comfortable with. Each platform carries a certain demographic, so research as you go. Just remember it may take time, so be patient.

  Now if you want a chance at getting paid for what you do you can still use social media. If you want to be a freelancer, then try using LinkedIn. Or you can use freelancing sites like Upwork or Fiverr. Fiverr is more for quick freelancing jobs, while Upwork is more contract working. You still have to work your way to be discovered, so it’ll take time.

Opportunities Don’t Come All At Once, So Be Humble and Patient.


3. Opportunities Don’t Come All At Once, So Be Humble and Patient.

  I’ll feel bad if you thought that good things happen overnight. If it did, then everybody will do it. Unfortunately, life does not work that way. As we work, we have to wait for the opportunities to show itself. This is the part that not a lot of people like.

  This is what separates the successful from everyone else. They can all start the same way, but when life gets tough, successful people do not quit. They push through the hardships and find ways to put it in their favor. When you are doing this, you’ll still be living a hard life. All you got to do is to hold on and continue to grow while you wait for the opportunity to present itself.

  Why must we have humility in this? Simply put it, to remember who we are. Humility wasn’t only meant for the proud. It makes sure we’re all in check as humans. In a time of seeking opportunities, you can lose yourself as a person. So humble yourselves to help push through the waiting.

Something to Remember


Something to Remember

  When opportunities do finally come to you, know when to say yes or no. You’re probably surprised by what I just said. Why would I make this whole article about opportunities and say no when they do show up? When you’re doing the work, you are creating future opportunities to come to you. That means both good and bad opportunities will show up at your front door. When you see an opportunity in front of you, make sure you analyze it and feel it is the right one for you before you choose to accept it. The best opportunities come to those who were able to control themselves and say no to the okay ones.

CONCLUSION


CONCLUSION

  Thank you for joining us today. If you want to know what you should do at home, click here where we discussed it. Comment how you will create your opportunities in the comment section below. Share this with a friend and follow us on Instagram for more weekly updates. This is The BE Mindset and always remember to be alive, be happy, be free, be you.

Christopher Gardner: https://www.chrisgardnermedia.com/

How to Give Direct Messaging

This is how to give direct messaging. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram for updates on new events happening in The BE Mindset community. We are in part two of Relationship Building Month. In this part, we will talk about the second part of communication, which is direct messaging.

Why Direct Messaging?


Why Direct Messaging?

  Have you recorded yourself talking before? When you talk, is your conversation straight to the point, or going all over the place? Do people even understand you when you are talking? Learning how to speak directly will get your message straight. Direct messaging will allow people to see what you are talking about.

What is Direct Messaging?


What is Direct Messaging?

  When I say direct messaging I don’t mean Instagram or Facebook. Direct messaging is the idea to speak clearly and straight to the point. With direct messaging, you will speak with authority. People will understand what you are saying. Nothing is hidden in your message, making it transparent with others.

How to Give Direct Messaging

Direct messaging means direct eye contact.


1. Direct messaging means direct eye contact.

  I brought this up in the last article. If we want to have a real connection with the people we’re talking to, then we need to have great eye contact. If you are not even looking at the ones you are talking to, then they might think what you have to say isn’t important. You won’t even look confident when you are trying to speak. Having proper eye contact can help show where you are in your conversation.

  Now we already talked about how to show great eye contact in the last article, so if you haven’t yet you can check it out here. But what I want to add on quickly is head leveling. Yes, even how you position your head will show meaning to other people. Raising your chin a bit can make you seem a little overconfident while lowering your chin might be a little seductive. There is a time to have these certain postures and in another time we can go deep into rapport, but for now, just remember to have an even level view between you and the person you are talking to. Rapport is basically having a harmonious relationship.

Direct messaging should have your message first.


2. Direct messaging should have your message first.

  These next two on our list will go more with the actual conversation. The first being that our message that we want to address should come first before our story or explanation. If you find yourself telling a story before you get to the point, then most likely people lose interest in you. I probably learned this from my uncle. He was in the army and always wanted a direct answer.

  If you want a good example of this that’s not as strict as the military, then look no further than Kevin Hart. Most of his jokes start off with him telling his message first, then saying the story after. This doesn’t only go to him, but to most comedians as well. People laugh because they can either relate to the story or understand because they know the message first. This doesn’t mean you have to be a comedian, although being funny is a plus, but it does allow you to show your message first.

Listen to the sound of your voice.


3. Listen to the sound of your voice.

  Giving a direct message doesn’t only come with when you are giving it, but how you are giving it too. It all depends on where you are set. Maybe you have to speak to a large congregation. For this case, you’re speaking one on one with individuals. The tone and speed you are speaking your message will affect how you will say it.

  This can be a topic on its own. So, for now, we will go through the basics. It’s best to record yourself to see what you have to work on. What lacks in most people’s conversation is the power in the message.

  This doesn’t mean just being loud or speaking really slow. Depending on what you are talking about, you can be quieter at times. However, I do not suggest speaking fast. To speak directly you need to have a moderate speed with a balanced tone using your natural pitch. It’s even better to speak in rapport with who you are talking to because it makes the connection even better, but once again we’ll go over rapport in another article.

Try using slight touch and hand movements.


4. Try using slight touch and hand movements.

  Lastly, I will be talking about touch and hand movements. You can use touch to grab attention to the one you want to talk to. Having hand movements while you talk can also add emphasis to your message. These things give you more freedom to express yourself as you are speaking. You just need to know how to use it moderately.

  What do I mean as in moderately? For example, when it comes to touch you have to make sure that you don’t come off too strong or creepy. A touch on the shoulder is fine as well as a pat on the back. Touching the hand is more sensitive, so proceed with caution.

  The same goes for hand movements. You don’t want to keep your hands closed up because you’ll seem nervous. Just letting it dangle is not good either because it’ll look and feel awkward. Generally, you want to move your hands around where it’s comfortable and not waving all over the place. You want to record yourself doing this so you will know what felt and looked right to you.

Something to Remember


Something to Remember

  Just like listening, speaking also means having an emotional connection. The difference is that we are giving our emotions instead of receiving them. Being said that, there should be a level of passion for saying what you want others to know. If there’s a little passion, then no one will listen. However, showing too much passion will make it harder for others to accept. Calm your heart to give your message with clarity and authority.

CONCLUSION


Conclusion

  Thank you for joining us today. Now if you do know how to give your message directly but don’t know how to tell your story, then click here where I talk about telling your own story. Why do you have a hard time giving your message? Comment it in the comment section below. Like this and don’t forget to follow us on Instagram for more updates. This is The BE Mindset and always remember to be alive, be happy, be free, be you.

Favorite Lessons From John C. Maxwell

  These are favorite lessons from John C. Maxwell. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram for updates on new events happening in The BE Mindset community. I’m sure everyone knows who John C. Maxwell is. Hence, it would be wrong of me not to talk about him since this is a leadership website.

Who is John C. Maxwell?


Who is John C. Maxwell?

  John Calvin Maxwell has grown up as an evangelical Christian and followed his father in the ministry. He became a pastor and preached at many churches, specifically at the Crystal Cathedral in Orange County, California. Yet for most of us, we probably know him better as an inspiring author. His books have continued to change the way we think and inspires us to become both better people and leaders in our own rights. Now we all know the lessons from his books, which we can go over in the future, but for now, we will discuss my favorite quotes from John C. Maxwell.

Quotes From John C. Maxwell


Quotes From John C. Maxwell


1. Everyone has the potential to become an encourager.

“Everyone has the potential to become an encourager. One doesn’t have to be rich. You do not have to be a genius. You don’t have to have it all together. All you have to do is care about people and initiate.”

– John C. Maxwell

  I love the reality of this quote. EVERYONE can be an encourager. Now if you don’t think you can because you wouldn’t know what to say, that is perfectly fine. There’s a time to say something and there’s a time to say nothing. If you are truly listening to the person/people, then you will know if or if not you should talk and what to say as well.

2. People who use time wisely.

“People who use time wisely spend it on activities that advance their overall purpose in life.”

– John C. Maxwell

  It’s great when we use our time for more productive activities. But what he said was,”…activities that advance their overall purpose in life.” To me, that means knowing how to balance every part of their life. For example, if you are working on your business really hard, but you are not giving proper time to rest, then you are harming your body and your mind to fulfill what should be done. This can go for everything you decide to do with your time, so choose wisely.

3. Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who do not.

“Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who do not. When I see a person beginning to separate themselves from the pack, it’s almost always due to personal growth.”

– John C. Maxwell

  Growth begins as a solo path. We grew up comfortable with everything we have and followed down the river along with everyone else. But once we realized that the path we’ve been following is not one we were satisfied with, we decided to make a change. You begin to go against the river and fight your way to change. You may have family and friends that are questioning you, but at least you should respect yourself because you know you are beginning to grow.

4. The greatest mistake we make.

“The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.”

– John C. Maxwell

  This is a funny one for how relatable it is. Have you ever thought of something that you always wanted to do, then you decide to make an analysis of what you have to go through to prepare for it? Then you see the negatives of it, you start letting the fear take over your mind, the thought of failure overwhelms you, and now you decide maybe it’s a bad idea to do it. We are always going to make mistakes because nothing is perfect. We will fail, so don’t let the thought of it stop you from reaching what you want to achieve because eventually, those failures will lead to success.

5. A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes.

“A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.”

– John C. Maxwell

  This is more relatable to me when I was younger because I wasn’t strong enough before. Personally, I would admit my mistakes, but I would go too deep in those mistakes that I forget to learn from them and make myself better. It took me years of making those same mistakes for me to realize that I need to grow up from these mistakes. Now I’ve seen people who can’t even do the first part and choose to blame others instead of themselves. If you really want to change yourself, you need to take your responsibilities and humble yourself.

6. The difference between average people and achieving people.

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.”

– John C. Maxwell

  This also relates to the last quote and how I used to think when I was younger. I took failure too hard that it affected my thoughts and performance. It took me a while to see that my failures will lead me to my successes. Not only that, but they made me a stronger person as well. Hopefully, for everyone else, failure won’t determine how weak you are, but what makes you strong and unique from everyone else.

7. Family and friendships.

“Family and friendships are two of the greatest facilitators of happiness.”

– John C. Maxwell

  This is something we really take for granted when we’re younger. It’s only when we get older we appreciate the people in our lives that supported us through everything. Our family will always be there for us, partially because they have to, but mainly because they love us. Now with friends, it’s great to have them if they’re true. It’s always a great feeling to see you have a small group of friends, but they are real and make you happy.

8. The unsuccessful person is burdened by learning.

“The unsuccessful person is burdened by learning and prefers to walk down familiar paths. Their distaste for learning stunts their growth and limits their influence.”

– John C. Maxwell

  Learning shouldn’t be a burden, but instead an excitement. This goes for the learning experiences that seem scary as well. It’s from doing the scary or uncomfortable things where one will learn and grow from. The moment the scary part passes and we made it through is the moment we feel happy with ourselves. Just like the example earlier, go against the tide instead of riding along the river.

9. Learn to say “no”.

 “Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.”

– John C. Maxwell

  You do not need to please everyone. This means you don’t have to say yes to everything or everyone. John was saying that if you want the best, you need to say “no” to the average choices. This also includes taking opportunities. Many opportunities will be given to, but only one of them was meant for you.

10. The experience of pain.

 “The experience of pain or loss can be a formidably motivating force.”

– John C. Maxwell

  This is probably most relatable with our time today. Everyone is at home, we might have been affected by the virus physically. Maybe people we know and love have been affected by it. Some of us may have lost our jobs because of it. But if we can learn to use these hardships and tribulations to change the way we are doing things, then these things just became our new drive for something far greater than what we first hoped for.

Conclusion


CONCLUSION

  Thank you for spending time with us. If you want to see me talk more about his books, then please like and comment on which book. I would probably start with my favorite book from him, How Successful People Think: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life. You can buy that book or have the audiobook through Kindle. If you sign up here, the first month will be free. If you want to learn ways to fight your fears, then click here where I talk about it. This is the BE Mindset and remember to be alive, be happy, be free, be you.

Learn More About Him Here: https://www.johnmaxwell.com/

How to Strengthen Our Integrity

  This is How to Strengthen Our Integrity. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram for updates on new events happening in The BE Mindset community. It’s been a while since we were first ordered to stay at home. Everyone thought they can handle staying at home, but later realizing they can’t. This goes for both lazy and productive people.

INTRODUCTION


INTRODUCTION: INTEGRITY

  We are social creatures. We were meant to connect to other human beings. A study done in The US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health states that “humans need others to survive and prosper.” What makes this even harder is that everyone is going through different kinds of hardships. We either have families who caught the sickness, have the sickness ourselves, or are going through financial trials. We are wondering how we will be able to pay for this month’s rent, have money for necessities, and so on.

  It won’t be surprising if some people went insane. The amount of isolation and hardships are continuing to build up. It adds stress, anxiety, and even depression. In most cases, we are on the verge of insanity. The only thing that is holding us to sanity is our integrity.

What Is Integrity?


What Is Integrity?

  Integrity is defined as, “The practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values.” As a Christian, we were taught of the life of Job. In The Bible, Job was known as a man who loves God and was given prosperity in his life. Now Satan made a bet with God, saying that Job only loves God because he is living prosperously. If that was taken away, then Job will curse Him.

  To make the long story short, God accepted the challenge and Satan took everything away from Job. He took away his riches, his family, and even his health. Yet through all this, Job never lost his love to God and remained humble through it all. The one thing he held on to was his integrity. So in the end, God gave him double what he lost and continued to live in prosperity again.

Why Do We Need to Have Strong Integrity?


Why Do We Need to Have Strong Integrity?

  We all like to talk about the power of will. But willpower alone cannot help without a foundation to stand on. That’s where our integrity comes in. The strength of our integrity determines how we choose to live our lives and what we choose to believe in. Think of it as personal laws that we decide to follow and live by.

How to Strengthen Our Integrity

Reflect On Our Beliefs


1. Reflect on our beliefs.

  In order for us to see the strength of our integrity, we have to first reflect on our beliefs. We must reevaluate our morals and ethics. There is a high chance that some of these beliefs were just given to us to believe. In most cases, it might come from your parents. I’m not saying their beliefs are bad, but it’s different once you choose to really believe in it.

  The first thing you should do is see your morals and ethics in front of you. Get a notebook or something like it and write down everything you believe in. Put clarity in the higher ones and make sure that they are worth believing in even when you’re facing death. If you don’t believe in those morals during a life or death situation, then what more during hardships? Our integrity was meant to be our pillars to support us, so if there are cracks in those pillars, then expect them to fall when the time comes.

Be Honest With Yourself


2. Be honest with yourself.

  This goes along with the first part. Holding on to our integrity means being honest with ourselves. This is the hardest thing for anyone to do. Being surrounded in a world of lies means that we have to live with some. But the moment you are lying to yourself is the moment you realize how hard it is to live with yourself.

  Accept everything about you. See all of your strengths and weaknesses. However, don’t bring yourself down either because you will hurt yourself even more. Realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Do not blame yourself to it for too long and learn to grow from it. We all know the saying, “the truth will set you free”. But why wait for someone else to tell you when you can tell yourself.

Connect With The People Closest to You


3. Connect with the people closest to you.

  Finally, to strengthen integrity, we have connections with the ones closest to us. Once we reflect on our beliefs and be honest with ourselves, then we need to be open to people we hold dear to. This is great for two things. (1) They will learn and know how we are on our side. (2) We get the chance to socialize our truth to people other than ourselves.

  I’m not saying this part will be easy. In fact, it may be the hardest thing to do. There’s a high chance no one will understand you. But at the very least, you can feel relieved to at least being honest with them. However, don’t think that you are walking this path on your own. There are other people walking this path as well, so even when life gets tougher, do not think you’re fighting by yourself.

THINGS TO REMEMBER


Things to Remember

  The strength of integrity can change the variable of how we live our lives. When it’s seen by other people, they may misinterpret that strength as pride. But while pride is built on a wall of lies, integrity is held onto truths. So whether someone agrees with you or not, they should at least respect you for standing your ground to the things you believe in. Once we learn how to respect ourselves through our integrity, then we can live through the trials in life and live to fight another day.

THANK YOU


Conclusion

  Thank you for spending time with us. Once you strengthen your integrity and want to follow through on it, click here where I discussed following your passion and finding our purpose in life. If you haven’t yet, please follow us on Instagram to see everything else happening in the BE Mindset Community. Like this post and share it with a friend. Comment, “Holding On” and ask questions on what you want to see next. This is The BE Mindset Group and always remember to be alive, be happy, be free, be you.

Sources:

National Center for Biotechnology Information: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3166409/

Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integrity

5 Ways to Be a Great Listener

  These are 5 ways to be a great listener. Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Balaoro and welcome to the BE Mindset, a place for future leaders and personal development. If you’re new here, follow us on Instagram. The month of April is officially the month of Financial Literacy. Now I’m not an expert in finances, but I am great when it comes to “relationship literacy”. So for the month of April, I’m making it Relationship Building Month.


  There’s a saying, “Your network is your net worth.” Now if you want to learn financial literacy, there’s plenty of other articles to read and learn that. But here you will learn how to build quality relationships, so you can have a better network and possibly a higher net worth. So the first subject we’ll be talking about is the art of communication. I’ve split this into two parts that we will learn in the next two weeks, which is how to be a great listener and how to give direct messaging.

INTRODUCTION


What do you mean by, “great listener”?

  Now I know what you are probably thinking, “Samuel, what do you mean how to be a great listener? I know how to be a great listener. I’ve been listening since I was born.” Now I think you are not understanding what I said. I know everybody knows how to hear, but not everyone knows how to listen. Now let me know if I’m wrong, I am pretty sure you heard this before. I could even bet that someone said this to you before. “You weren’t there for me. You’re not even listening to me. You’re never here for me.”

  Alright don’t lie, you know you heard those words before. It’s okay, don’t hurt yourself about it. That’s why you’re here now to learn how to listen properly. They say introverted people are better listeners than extroverts because they are pickier on who they choose to talk to and they barely talk, to begin with. I think that’s partly true because I’ve met extroverts that are great listeners, as well as introverts that are terrible listeners. Now I’m naturally introverted, but if you were to meet me in person, you wouldn’t think so because I learned how to balance the qualities of an introvert and extrovert. So whether you’re one or the other, you’ll learn how to listen properly. Now with that out of the way, let’s get this started.

5 Ways to Be a Great Listener

HAVE GOOD EYE CONTACT


1. Being a great listener means to have good eye contact.

  This is the most important thing to be a great listener. They say the eyes lead to the soul. That’s one way I can tell if I’m speaking to a great conversationalist, our eyes meet. At the same time, I know when a person is not that great because they are looking away or are distracted by something else. It’s so important to have good eye contact. I noticed that conversations that are easier to remember are conversations that involve eye contact. When I’m not looking because I’m distracted by something else or I’m driving, I don’t really remember those conversations. So when the other person brings that up, most likely I’m clueless.

  Now obviously you don’t want to stare down on a person, you’ll just seem like a creep. This is a technique I learned when I was younger, but I forgot who I learned this from. I call it the Triangle Technique. For a girl, I look at the right eye, left eye, then lips. For a guy, I look at the right eye, left eye, nose. Now don’t exaggerate this obviously. It’s meant to be an unconscious action.

  You should probably practice this on yourself first. I suggest looking at a mirror, then go from the right eye, left eye, then lips. Do it again, but switch the lips with your nose. Practice this until it becomes natural to you. “But Sam, I’m still uncomfortable with looking at people’s eyes.” That’s perfectly fine, just look at their eyebrows first, until you get comfortable with the eyes. I don’t suggest looking at the forehead because the other person might think they have something on their head and you’ll seem weird.

READ THEIR LIPS


2. Read their lips.

  This relates to the first part, but I don’t think a lot of people talk about this. I like to think of this as reading subtitles while watching the show. I actually started doing this because when I was younger I was in my church choir. Usually, I can learn the voicing easily, but I hardly spent time learning the lyrics of the songs. So what I would do is while I’m singing I will look at the other choir members’ mouth to understand what I am singing.

  Does this mean I understand people when they’re mouthing words instead of saying it? No, I still don’t understand mouthing. To me, reading the mouth without the voicing is like watching a foreign show and the subtitles are in the same language as the show. So congratulations to the people who understand mouthing because reading people’s lips are probably second nature. I know most girls know how to do this which is why they are usually better communicators, but for the boys it’s okay. That’s why we are here to learn how.

  If you’re with a friend or someone you’re really comfortable with, you can practice this. Don’t tell them you’re practicing this or they might over-exaggerate on purpose or get uncomfortable with you at that moment.  Have a normal conversation and read their lips while they’re talking. Imagine as you can actually see the words coming out of their mouths and into your brain. The ability to see what they are saying is the beginning of understanding what they’re saying.

GIVE FEEDBACK


3. As a great listener, you must give feedback.

  Now when I say this I don’t mean just any filler comments. What do I mean by filler comments? Filler comments as in “yeah”, “right”, “really”, “no way”, “for real”, etc. I’ll be honest and say I use filler comments too at times. But when it comes to listening, giving feedback that relates to the conversation shows that you are a great listener. It allows them to see that you understand what they are talking about.

  Believe it or not, practicing this is a lot easier now than before. Before you can only practice this by just experiencing it with other people. Now here’s how you can practice this today. If you’re reading this on your mobile device, then go to your social media and look at other people’s content. From there, leave a relevant reply. Not just a general filler comment, but give real feedback. What’s great is that either the content creator will react to your feedback or other users will.

ASK QUESTIONS


4. Ask questions.

  This correlates with giving feedback. And just like giving back, you can’t ask just any question. Now I’m sure everyone knows the two types of questions to ask. There’s the informational “who, what, when, where, why, how” questions and there are the simple “yes, no” questions. What we’re usually told to do is only ask the informational questions and not the simple questions.

  What I bet you didn’t know was that there are two types of simple questions. There are context questions and there are repeating questions. For example, let’s say the person said they like cars. A context simple question would be, “So you like Honda Civics?” On the other hand, a repeating simple question would be, “Do you like cars?”

  Believe it or not, it’s better to ask repeating simple questions than to ask context simple questions because it shows that you are listening to the conversation. Of course, you shouldn’t always ask these kinds of questions because then it might seem like you have a hard time listening. This type of question is best used when you don’t actually understand the question. When you try to repeat a question from their statement, they’ll be honest and tell you if you really got it or not. However, informational questions are still the best questions to ask, while repeating simple questions is a good secondary.

  You can actually practice this the same way as giving feedback, but I know some people are shy when it comes to asking questions online because not everyone is helpful. So another way of practicing this is from the things you watch. For example, if you’re on YouTube and you watched your favorite YouTuber, write down at least five informational questions to that YouTuber related to the video. Of course, like giving feedback, you eventually need to practice with people face to face. Person to person will have a different feeling than a comment on Instagram, so get used to the feeling of it.

HAVE A GOOD BODY LANGUAGE


5. Have a good body language.

  Body language is really important and can be a subject on its own. For now, we will talk about basic body language. How do you know if you’re giving bad body language? Well, try doing this. Next time you find yourself in a conversation or better yet if you’re watching something like an informational video, record yourself watching it. Do you see the way your body is? Are you fidgeting your fingers or keeping your body closed in?

  So how would you practice good body language? This practice is more of repetition and patience because it’s more of a habit. Let’s use sitting down as an example. We normally have a bad habit of slouching our back from our lower back to the upper back. So before my mom told me to put a book on my head and see how long I can leave it there. At the same time, she would leave pennies on my both of my backhands to force me to sit completely straight.

  Now did it feel weird and uncomfortable? Yes. Did it help build better posture? Yes. Of course in real life you don’t want to look completely straight, but when you are really trying to listen to someone you need to be open. So instead of crossing your arms or fidgeting your fingers, keep your hands to the side and stick out your chest. Show that as someone is opening up to you, you are open to them.

SOMETHING TO REMEMBER


Something to Remember

  These are the 5 ways to be a great listener. You must present all these things in order to become better as a listener. Work on the hardest one first, then work your way to the easier ones. Just remember that listening doesn’t only involve a connection through logic, but a connection through emotion as well. That’s why it’s important for you to be open to receive the other person’s emotions when they talk to you so you can get an understanding of not only what they are saying, but what they are feeling as well.

THANK YOU


Conclusion

  Thank you for joining us today. You have learned how to be a great listener. If you would like to ask a question or comment, leave a reply below. As we all know, conversations are different when you love the person you’re talking to. However, not everyone remembers what true love is. If you want to see the 5 Forgotten Truths About Love, click here. Please share and follow us on Instagram for updates on everything leadership and personal development. This is the BE Mindset and always remember to be alive, be happy, be free, be you.